Goodbye

I hate goodbye's. They never get easier. The hardest part of having a pet is what we went through today. I sat by Howie for days, trying to help him, even though he didn't seem in pain I figured he was just masking it well. I held him most of the day and told him how much I loved him. We took him in and the Dr confirmed that how was showing signs of congestive heart failure. Howie has a heart murmer and was suffering from kidney failure. Because of his heart we couldn't put him on meds. It was his time to go. I had been preparing myself but it was still very sad. I am so heart broken.... Just when I felt like I was starting to feel "normal" I have to deal with this loss. I really fear that it is more than I can handle. I may have to talk to a Dr about getting on anti-depressents.